You Look...

Strong. Strong is the appropriate fill-in-the-blank, at least the one that I've been enjoying of late.

Apparently when you drag your ass to the gym 5 or 6 days a week, and start replacing gouda with asparagus, your body undergoes some changes. And your urine smells. But I digress...

It's funny because when you don't have the greatest relationship with your body, the adjectives you use to describe goals are often specific to an aesthetic - you care about how you look and often assume how you look is what correlates with how you feel about yourself. And don't get me wrong, watching my body change has helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin, but it isn't tied to how I "look," as in how skinny I am (trust me, I'm not), or what size I'm wearing, but instead I'm finding that feeling and looking strong is what clicks. I've had two people in the past week tell me I look strong and it made my day on both occasions. I do want to point out that getting stronger has also meant shedding some body fat and my look has changed into something that is preferable, at least in my eyes, to my previous body, if you will, but I don't know if someone telling me I looked thin would feel like much of a compliment these days.

Don't get me wrong, I want to look & feel like a woman, or at least whatever that means to me. As an example, I can appreciate that the females who do Cross Fit have super strong looks to them but for myself, they often look a little masculine for my taste. I guess that right there shows that the aesthetic aspect is still alive & well, as I'm basically saying I want to look strong but not TOO strong. Either way, to each their own and as long as you feel good in your own skin, which is very much a work in progress for me, then keep doing whatever you're doing. Unless it's Belly Fit or jazzercise, in which case, stop what you're doing, and mix in some real exercise. (I told you this was an opinion-based blog...)

I guess for me, strong equates to healthy, and healthy feels good. It feels better than looking at a smaller size in my pants. Granted, I'm not opposed to a smaller size...my ass is huge, but it's not the measuring stick. I know there's the whole "strong is the new skinny" movement and honestly, I don't really care about that. I'm too much of a narcissist to concern myself with what other people are striving to look like. I mean, I never set out to look strong and I imagine to the masses, I probably don't look strong. Especially to one of those Cross Fit chicks, who now thinks I told her she looks like a dude and will likely chase me down, with a Prowler sled in front of her, while she plans on how to beat me up for time. (Too far?) I get distracted so easily...

Bottom line, call me strong and I'll smile at you, because I like how it sounds and I feel even better about what it means for my health, and where I've come so far...